As a parent you find nights out lose their appeal. You know longer fancy a beer after work, or a crafty ciggy on your break. Yes, you are often envious of Friday’s young and carefree sitting on the sun terrace, alcoholic beverage in hand. Whilst you are run ragged, zooming from school, to childminders, to gymnastics. You miss the spontaneity of the tea time pub visit. But you’ve come to realise that you don’t miss the sore head in the morning.
I am still a party animal at heart but it has to be a really special event to warrant the five day hangover. So I no longer drink or smoke (maybe quarterly). I seem to have replaced it with something much worse.
Not limited to special occasions, I often find chocolate sneaking into my daily food allowance. Will I manage to give that up one day? I am really hoping so. I couldn’t imagine smoking a cigarette or drinking a glass of wine right now, but chocolate….innocent chocolate. The handshake from an old familiar friend. Why don’t I see it for the devil it really is?
The appeal is too much, the smooth, melt in your mouth feeling. It melts away the daily stress and takes you somewhere far away…..
For about 30 seconds. Then you want another piece. And another.
I’m writing this right now as I have broken the sugar-free law that I am so trying to live by. I have been doing well and even resisted chocolate last night when Dave brought it home. A huge achievement for me.
I was on my lunch break at home today getting ready to walk the dog. And I spied it. High up, on the shelf. I deliberated over this temptation. The angel and the devil fought it out on my shoulders. The angel didn’t stand a chance, bless her, she was unarmed in this battle of blissful indulgence.The soup ladle was my weapon of choice. I scooped that bar of smooth milk chocolate off that ledge and as it tumbled into my hands I felt like I’d caught the last man out!! Yesssss!
You know how it goes. Unfold the foil carefully to cover your tracks. Just two pieces, to even out the line. Just one more. And one for the road. Now I’ll have to even that line out! I just can’t say no. I’m actually avoiding going back to the house because I know I’ll be faced with it again. I’m just not strong enough. Please tell me I’m not alone. Does your will power melt at the sight of a bar?